today I saw a man reading a book. he laughed to himself while reading it. he derived laughter from a series of letters strung together on a page. that’s real magic.
tonight
after watching an episode of full metal alchemist, I’m going to try something different. sleep.
I’ve never really paid too much attention to the grammy’s but hands down this phenom is my nomination for next year.
I am the hokage.
somewhere in between 4 and 5 am the once distinct line between the viscosity of reality and calm waters of dreams merge into something I can’t quite explain. I guess you could just call it drowsiness, but it’s something more to me. It’s a special time. I don’t get to watch Naruto anymore but on a random Sunday night I found myself in front of a projector TV (strange because I never watch shows let alone in front of a TV) witnessing an episode with my younger brother. You know how some animes can be, sometimes it takes two to three episodes to give the back story behind why a character acts a certain way when in the actual scope of the show the only thing that has actually chronologically occurred is that the protagonist has picked her/his nose one tyme. it could be for a lot of reasons, maybe this was purposely done by the creators of the show because they felt it was something important they wanted to emphasize for the plot line, or maybe the writers are stalling to catch up to the manga and thought that they would create an episode about why the character likes picking their nose and how picking their nose reminds them of their childhood when they used to go to the Cherry Blossom Festival with their grandmother who was very dear to them and interestingly had an affinity for collecting rocks that struck resemblances to past emperors of the Meiji Era. Anyways, back to the episode. It was about Rock Lee, a cat who I really admire. I mean, the dude has heart. I never saw myself as someone who was ever exceptionally gifted at anything. When I was younger I never was really particularly good at anything academically, I was horrible at practically every sport I tried to play (unless you count bottlecap soccer which I was aiight at, or pogs (which I’m still currently petitioning for to be recognized at the upcoming London Olympics…), and overall I was just a super clumsy kid. Maybe it was because I was never passionate about many of the things I tried, maybe it was because I was lazy, or maybe I just overall sucked, who knows, but regardless I never recall ever saying to myself, “oh hey Francis you know there’s an accordian sitting there next to that Eastern European man, why don’t you pick it up and start jammin’” and then proceeded to try it like two times and then be the next Pavarotti of accordians. I’ve always had to work for everything I have come to know or be somewhat proficient at. I used to envy other folks for their ability to pick up things so easily, the folks who had all the support from a young age, the resources, the princeton review SAT prep courses, the parents who made it to all their basketball games. My life wasn’t any of those things. Nothing about me or my family fit that archetype. at this point in my life I’ve come to accept, nourish, and even love this aspect of my being, and I’ve come to understand myself and the fact that I wouldn’t have the drive that I do now if I had the talent that others possess. Rock Lee didn’t possess natural gifts that many other ninjas were born with to practice a diverse array of ninja techniques, so he dedicated himself to using solely taijutsu, something unheard of because of the vulnerability that it could cause for a ninja in battle. He trained countless minutes, hours, days, nights, weeks on end, all with a dream to realize his dreams, to show himself that he was just as adept and powerful as anyone else, to become something worthy of calling a legend. I wonder if Rock Lee ever had issues with chronic bags under his eyes. These days I see myself in Rock Lee more than ever, trying to make it in this post-baccalaureate program despite all the problems I’m having, trying to balance work and extracurriculars, maintain the relationships I have with the friends and family I love, keep improving in Spanish and Thai, commuting back and forth on the weekly, contributing to the art form of dance, and most of all, sleep. There’s a lot we can learn from anime, we just have to keep our eyes, ears, and most of all our minds open to the possibility…
I still exist yo!
hello worldddd, today I was informed about a new super dopppppe tumblr by the name of thegreenpapaya, the Southeast Asian Student Coalition at UC Berkeley’s new blog that aims to focus, “on the identity, hystory, and issues of Southeast Asians with a goal to build an online venue that engages the SEA community as well as foster voices within our community”. If you are an avid blogger, have something you’d like to share, or just want to express yourself in any shape or form, I highly encourage ya’ll to get involved with this really great community. Your posts may be any expression of any topic you would like to share, it doesn’t specifically have to pertain to the Southeast Asian community. WHATS.REALLY.GOOD.
peacepeace
P.S. if you haven’t gotten the chance, feel free to peep my new art portfolio website artisintheseyes , it was created with the mindset of sharing my thoughts and experiences with the world around me.
“Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That is how the light gets in”
—-
This is an ode to emptiness
a silhouette
two sets of intertwined cheek bones
that cast lines
to reel in my eyes
just two adjacent aged vases
familiar yet distant
placed to replace something that
should
have
been
Thank you pitch black darkness
in you pristine is my reflection
a staggered apparition who droops
dives into vivid visions
head first
these convex shaped eyelids
do not know
they feel
they remember
they will find you
swimming forward
somehow
